Feeling stuck is something everyone experiences periodically throughout life. Often it can leave us feeling helpless or lost, but the truth is that there are a lot of things we can do to help ourselves get “unstuck” and back to living lives we truly enjoy.

In this post, I am going to share the 8 tips for getting back on track when you are feeling stuck that have been incredibly helpful for me in my own season of “stuckness” and that I know will be helpful for you too.

The Dos and Don’ts of Feeling Stuck

I have felt stuck during many seasons of my life, but the middle of this year definitely took the cake. In June, I had to leave a school that I had pictured myself working at forever. It was not an easy end, and it brought with it a lot of extremely challenging questions about my career path, my future, and even my identity. It had me questioning nearly everything I knew about myself and I had no idea where to go from there.

There are lots of reasons why you might feel stuck or lost right now. It could be that you suffered a loss, or that the vision you had for your life or career was disrupted in a big way. Perhaps you know what you want to be doing but have no idea how to get there. Or maybe you are just 25 and wishing you were a lot more prepared for what “real life” is really like.

Whatever brings you here, I hope that these 8 things I am learning as I work to get “unstuck” in my own life can help you too. 

Getting Unstuck

Do remember that you are not alone

One of the most important things I have been reminding myself in this season of life is that I am not alone. I have friends and family who are supportive and encouraging, and that alone makes a huge difference.

You can go about this in many different ways depending on your situation. 

It could mean getting professional help from a therapist, counselor, coach, or trainer. Sometimes having someone there to support you who doesn’t know you personally can be helpful because they can look at your situation a little more objectively than someone who loves you. 

That being said, if you have a supportive group of friends and family around you who you trust for guidance and support, absolutely lean on them. Sometimes it just takes some tough love from your brutally honest BFF to pull you out of a funk and get you back on your feet. 

Right now for me, some of this help is coming from my new “accountability buddies.” This post that you are reading right now was only finished because I know that my friends, who are also working to get unstuck in their own ways, are expecting me to post this month, just like I am expecting them to accomplish the goals they set for themselves. 

Don’t believe that your problems are unique

Sounds harsh, but hear me out. 

I started thinking about this more than ever when I was reading Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. He talked about how people have a tendency to think about our problems as unique to ourselves. In reality, there is almost no problem you will experience that someone else has not already faced or is not dealing with right alongside you. Knowing that doesn’t make your problems any less valid, but it does free you from feeling alone or like your problems are unsolvable. 

When I really acknowledged and accepted this fact for the first time I almost couldn’t believe how much of an immediate impact it had on how I was feeling. Before, every little thing that went wrong felt catastrophic, every decision a make-or-break one. Afterwards, I started looking at my experience as a small piece of a larger picture. 

My problems are not special, and neither are yours. I am one person out of millions who are facing the loss of something important and going through a bit of an identity crisis. Other people have gone through it and gotten over it, and so will I. So will you.

Do Seek advice from others

We have hundreds and thousands of advice dispensing resources just a few clicks away nearly every minute of the day– use them! 

It’s no secret that I love a good self-help book. I think they are awesome, and I have yet to read one that didn’t help me take at least one step in the right direction. Reading about other people’s experiences and how they have overcome hardships and done big things in their lives is one of my favorite things to do. It is why I write about my own experiences as well.  

Books to help you get unstuck:

• Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis
• Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies, by Tara Schuster 
• Atomic Habits, by James Clear 
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Mark Manson 
• Designing Your Life, by Bill Burnett and Dave Evens

If reading isn’t your cup of tea, or, like me, you need some variety in your learning, there are a million people on youtube and Spotify handing out equally amazing advice for free. Right now, I am learning a lot of great things from these creators:

People to watch to help you get unstuck:

• Clark Kegley
• Mel Robbins
• Ryan Holiday 
• Dave Ramsey

The best part is that even if I don’t agree with everything these writers, speakers, and creators have to say, I am still able to expand my thinking and gain insight into different points of view and approaches to life. 

I also find that the more positive, encouraging, educational content I consume, the more motivated I am to keep working on things when they get tough or I’m not sure where to turn next.

Don’t rely on others to change your life

It might seem strange to put this right after so much about using the support of others, but it is so important- kind of like that tough love from your BFF. 

You can have the kindest, most generous, most encouraging support system in the world, but at the end of the day, your life is your responsibility, not anyone else’s. It is up to you to do the work and make the choices that will move you forward. 

Mel Robbins talks about this concept as “parenting yourself,” and explains in this video how freeing accepting this truth can be.

Do learn new skills

It’s a simple fact that when we know more and are able to do more, more doors will be opened for us. That’s part of why learning new skills is so important, especially when we are feeling stuck.

As part of my mission to create and maintain a life outside of the classroom I have been trying to learn some new skills just for fun. Getting more intentional about my writing is one way I am going about it, but I have also been trying my hand at things like watercolor painting, digital art, crocheting, and meditation. 

I am also trying to expand my knowledge base by listening to experts on topics like money and personal finance, stoic philosophy, entrepreneurship, health, and– of course– personal growth. I have a TRB list a mile long of books on building and breaking habits, actively seeking out fun, and building community too. 

The point of this is not to add more to your plate, it’s to do things you enjoy, experience new things and ideas, and continue to grow in different areas of your life, even when you are feeling stuck in others. I have been doing this very intentionally for a few months now and it is incredible how much of an impact it has had. 

Don’t keep doing what doesn’t work

Someone once said “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” 

I experience this most often when I go back to the fridge again as if new options have magically appeared since the last time I checked two minutes ago, but I also recognize it in other areas of my life. 

For example, I knew I wanted to start getting up earlier so I could have more time to do the things I was always too tired to do at the end of the work day. I set my alarm a million different ways, but continued to press snooze so many times in the morning that nothing really changed. I was still getting up too late.

Instead of continuing to do the thing that didn’t work– keep my alarm, and therefore the snooze button, on my phone right next to my bed– I changed my game plan. I got an actual alarm clock and put it on the other side of my room where I have to actually get out of bed to turn it off. Now, I have a system that really works and am no longer stuck in a cycle that wasn’t serving me. One little change made a huge difference toward helping me do the self-care things I had been missing in my routine before and I am so much happier for it.

If there is something you are doing in an attempt to get unstuck and it is just not working, try something new! It seems like it should be obvious, but when we are in states of feeling stuck or lost, the most obvious changes can sometimes be the most overlooked.

Do take advantage of new opportunities 

Opportunities for growth are everywhere, and it is especially important to keep an open mind about them when we are feeling stuck. 

About a month ago, I decided to make a big move that I have always dreamed about in a “maybe if I were braver” sort of way. When this opportunity presented itself, my immediate reaction was to laugh and say “sure, I’m totally going to do that” in the most sarcastic tone I could muster. 

But then I thought about it and realized that all of the things that had been going “wrong” and making me feel stuck, had actually opened the door for this new opportunity. Plus if I was going to practice what I preach and try to make the most out of a bad situation, this move would be a pretty cool way to do it. 

As soon as I decided to take the opportunity, my whole outlook changed- and I’m not just saying that for dramatic effect. By just committing to saying “yes” instead of “maybe someday if…” like I had been for years, so much weight was lifted off my shoulders. And it wasn’t even a decision about the thing that was making me feel stuck!

Making a big decision about my life sort of jolted me out of my “stuckness” and helped me see possibilities I hadn’t considered before. It was exactly what I needed to start moving forward again. 

If you are feeling stuck, make it a priority to watch and listen for the new opportunities presented to you. You may be surprised by how many there are and how much just one choice can change your situation. 

Don’t be afraid to take a step back 

When I left my job, I had to make a choice about what I was going to do next. I knew that I couldn’t make any kind of long-term decision in the mental and emotional state I was in, but I couldn’t just do nothing either. 

In the end, I decided to take a step back and be a substitute teacher for a year instead of looking for another full-time teaching position. What this has allowed me to do is take some time for myself to explore the field of education, which I am still deeply passionate about, in a way I never have before. I have the mental space to consider different possibilities and the opportunity to test things out for myself without making any long-term commitments. 

For a lot of people, myself included, these kinds of “backward” moves can be really scary. We live in a society that constantly wants to be moving forward, and many of us internalize that. We feel like we have to follow a path and only look back to see how far we come. But sometimes the most important thing we can do for ourselves is stop and remember that we don’t always have to do things in the “right” order. 

If you are feeling stuck and aren’t sure which way to turn, try backwards- at least for a little while. 

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Everything on this list has helped me gain momentum in a season of feeling stuck and not knowing which way to turn. I still don’t have all of the answers, but I feel better after adopting these mindsets and practices than I have in a long time, and I am hopeful for what is to come. I hope that whatever you are going through, even one of these suggestions can help you find your way too. Let me know in the comments how they work for you and what else you are doing to get unstuck! 

Until next time, 

Sara