I can’t believe I’m saying this already, but the holiday season is quickly approaching! Christmas lights are going up, Friendsgiving plans are being made, and I am craving my Grammy’s Thanksgiving stuffing and gravy like nobody’s business.
But for many of us, the “most wonderful time of the year” can also be the hardest. My intention moving through the last two months of the year is to be as proactive as possible in improving my typically low winter mood and really enjoying the season I am in.
These are the things I will be doing to get ahead of the end of the winter blues. If you are in the same boat as me, already anticipating the struggles you face this time every year, I hope you will join me in taking these proactive steps so that you too can be fully present in the upcoming festivities and end your year on a high note.
*DISCLAIMER: I am not a mental health professional. Although I strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any medical or health related decisions. For your health-related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
How to Beat the Winter Blues
Defining the “Winter Blues”
There will be people who are upset that I am using this term when talking about a mental health condition. Let me explain.
The technical term for what I call the winter blues is Seasonal Depression, also called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. It is a real, diagnosable thing. It’s common in areas like mine, where overcast skies will pretty much dominate the forecast for the next few months.
This is something I have dealt with for years, as have many friends and family members. It is not something to take lightly. I don’t use the term winter blues to sugarcoat, romanticize, or downplay anything. I use it because it helps me remember that the feelings and other symptoms that come along with it are temporary. It really does make a big impact on how I think about and act on my mood.
Again, I am not a mental health professional. If you are struggling this season, please reach out to someone who is. What I am sharing here are the things I am personally doing to get ahead of the mindsets and habits that often make my SAD worse. I hope that if you are in a similar position you can find some comfort and encouragement in my words, and maybe find some practices that will work for you too.
Understand your triggers.
I know that there are certain things that are especially difficult for me around this time every year. These things effect my mood significantly. Recognizing that is the first step in getting ahead and being able to make some changes this season.
For me, these “triggers” include:
- Climate/Environment: lack of sunlight, cold weather, bare trees
- Relationship status: being single during the holidays hits harder than other times of the year. I blame Hallmark movies.
- Last year’s resolutions: perceived failure = there is something wrong with me
- Health: comfort food extravaganza vs the desire to be healthy
A big part of understanding your triggers is accepting what you can and cannot control. Being as I am not Mother Nature, I have absolutely no control over the climate. It is also unlikely that I will find myself in a TV movie worthy relationship in the next few weeks. But my mindset about last year’s resolutions and my health are absolutely 100% in my control.
Make a plan for the things you can’t control
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- even when we can’t control the situation, we can control our responses.
For example, I can’t change the climate. What I can do is be intentional about taking my vitamins. I can take advantage of the few nice days. I can shift my mindset from, “I hate that it is so cold. Why can’t it just be summer already?” to “It is cold. At least I can get cozy under a mountain of blankets and drink hot coco!”
There are things I could do to change my relationship status. But I have accepted that that is not a priority for me in this season of life. It might still sting, but I don’t have to let it bring me down. I can remind myself that I have a lot of other really awesome things happening in my life.
Accepting the things we can’t or won’t change is a big deal in and of itself. Having a plan for how to deal with them instead of letting them control us is huge. What are the things that are out of your control, and how can you change your mindset about them? How can you make your thoughts and feelings about them work for you instead of against you?
Get ahead of what you can control
This might be the most important step here because WE are the ones who have all of the power. It is up to us to decide how we are going to handle the winter blues triggers in this category. And we absolutely can do it.
This year, I am getting ahead of my failed resolution slump by reflecting on my year early. I am not going to wait until December 31 to think back on my year, because I know that that is when my mood is typically lowest and it is harder to see the progress I have made toward my goals. By doing this reflection earlier, I will be better able to recognize my growth, instead of focusing on what I still have left to achieve.
And for my health, I have come to terms with the fact that working out in my house isn’t doing it for me anymore. Instead, I joined a gym and am finally taking advantage of my sister’s offer to show me what the heck I’m supposed to do there. That way I can keep my body moving during the season in which I am usually most stationary.
I have also already been doing a lot of work when it comes to my diet and my mindset around food. My plan for the holidays especially is to be intentional about what I put on my plate, but also remind myself that an extra scoop of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving is not going to derail all of the progress I have been making for my health.
There are always actions we can take to improve our situations. Sometimes it just takes a little extra thought and planning. What can you do to get ahead of the triggers you know you have the power to do something about?
Make fun plans in advance
Every single year I find myself wallowing in this totally pointless mindset of “everyone else is doing fun things together and I’m all alone.” I get sad because I’m bored and lonely and then use those feelings as an excuse not to make plans and turn the situation around. I know I’m not the only one who does this because every time I bring it up to friends they say “oh my gosh, me too!”
It’s a terrible habit and this year I am determined to break it.
Making fun plans in advance instead of waiting until the winter blues have hit is probably the easiest way to be proactive about my mood this season. While being mindful of the need for down time too, I am filling up my calendar with weekend coffee dates with friends, ice skating outings, basically anything that will give me a change of scenery and dedicated time to enjoy with the people I love.
Is the feeling I described here familiar to you? Then I encourage you to do this as well. If your friends think it’s weird that you want to schedule a hang out two months in advance, explain to them why you are doing it. Chances are they will be grateful that you are being proactive and intentional about your own happiness. If not… maybe it’s time to find some new friends.
Give yourself grace
As I said before, if you struggle with true seasonal depression, you already know that these tips for getting ahead of it are more about symptom management than overall prevention. It is important to enter into this season with a positive mindset and plan for how to help yourself, but also remember to give yourself grace in the moments when those plans fall short.
There is nothing worse than making yourself feel guilty for feeling down. It is entirely unproductive and will only serve to make you feel worse. I know this because I do it all the time.
For a few years now, I have been working to incorporate more mindfulness practices into my life. One of the things that has been most helpful is naming how I am feeling, accepting that I feel that way, and reminding myself that it will pass.
Give yourself some tough love
The key to giving yourself grace is not making yourself feel guilty, but also not making excuses for yourself. You deserve to give yourself every opportunity to feel better and sometimes that means tough love. Keep going to the gym even when you don’t feel like it. Take the vitamins and remind yourself of your growth. Catch yourself playing the comparison game and tell yourself to stop. Eat the pumpkin pie because it’s delicious and brings you joy, not because your most judgemental relative made a comment about your body and now you feel like eating out of spite.
I struggle with the winter blues every year. I know that there are things about it I can’t control. But this year I am choosing to not let myself waste time and opportunities because of it. I am choosing instead to be intentional and proactive, and to take care of myself through it all. I hope you choose the same for yourself and have a wonderful winter.
Until next time,
